|Pictured Above: The Black Eyed Peas |
Not Pictured: Talent
The show had quite an interesting concept going for it. It was like a walk down memory lane for Black Eyed Peas fans starting from their most recent contributions to what passes for music and ended with some of their first songs. The costumes (of the dancers at any rate) were colorful and invited into a visually arresting light show even if they were direct rip offs of many already existing ideas (see daft bodies). Of course, none of this had to do with the Peas, the only weak point in an otherwise outstanding show.
It seems that the Black Eyed Peas have aged, and none to gracefully. The music, firstly, was just stupid. It was straight forward, unimaginative, and in general devoid of any soul. The premises for the songs were contrived and as evident of the Peas unwillingness to make anything that can be listened to outside of a club (possible exception: Where is the Love). But of course, this is about the show.
The performance started out splendidly. Fergie's mic was clearly off and I applauded whatever intrepid young sound technician had the gumption to step in and say: "Dammit! That woman has no place singing!" Unfortunately he was shut down and they turned her mic back on. She was by far the worst of the group, singing all over the place in terms of pitch and making me long for the sweet tones of fingernails on a chalkboard. The others seemed wholly unenthusiastic and seemed to resent their apparent success at getting to perform at the Super Bowl. The songs were terribly cut together, the transitions were jarring and in questionable order. It begs the question; is the premise so important that the playlist should sound terrible? Short answer: No.
They also did a cover of Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N Roses with Slash. Who gave Slash permission to ruin his previous band's songs? Also why in the hell was he necessary for this performance? All he does is play the main riff while the Peas remix the rest of the song and honestly that is what, 10 notes? Look, Axl Rose is a jackass who has ruined his share of classic songs. He's nothing but a clown that fronted what was a very good band. Musically, he is a piece of shit. I tell you this because I want you to be fully aware of my contempt for Axl Rose when I say, his version of this song is so much better that I'd rather listen to that every day for the rest of my life if I could erase the Peas' performance of it from my mind. For starters, they had Fergie sing it. Off key off pitch Fergie (dibs on that name). Her rasping rendition makes the idea of walking through Central Park at 2 AM in a tube top and hooker heels seem like an enjoyable and fulfilling experience.
It was bad is what I'm saying.
That being said there were some high points. They did a full field running man while wearing light up clothing. And it had the courtesy to end after 8 minutes of auditory rape.